sadness in the spring

I'm sitting in a friend's room, just can't seem to move as much as I'd like. I went to Some Crust Bakery and had two amazing Egg Sliders and tried to enjoy the beautiful SoCal weather. I was trying to do everything in my power to make myself smile after being told by my mother that my dog, my baby, my joy had passed. His name was Cairo and he was the cutest, happiest, most joyful pet that I had ever had. He felt like family. He was family. I'm tearing up writing this post because I wonder what more we could have done. Should we have made him more like a house pet? Let him stay inside the house more? Fed him gourmet food? Bought him chic sweaters and taken him on every family trip? What more could I have done besides love him? Makes me wish that I had taken the time to get him groomed over Winter Break. That I had spent more time rolling around with him in the backyard or walking him around our neighborhood. I miss him jumping on me whenever I came home for break. No matter how much I changed, Cairo's love for me stayed the same. 

I was recently denied an awesome job opportunity. I also received my transcript from Brazil and realized that I qualified for the Dean's list and that I also had the best grades in my entire college career. And then I get humbled by the death of my dog.

I'm so glad that it's Spring Break. I'm not so sure how I would've handled this loss otherwise. 


It seems strange to me, this grief. But just as I am in tune with  the death of people, so I am in tune with the death of animals. It's also the perfect reason why I am vegetarian. Because life to me is so immensely important. I'm crying now thinking about Cairo and what he meant to my little brother. They grew up together. I watched my brother walk him and bond with him. They even seemed to look alike. I can't imagine what my little papa is going through right now. 


It's a strange year of ups and downs. Of sadness and happiness. I just hope that we all take the time to remember how to say I love you to the people who are in our lives. And that we all also affirm the shared struggle of being human. To anyone who reads my blog, I affirm your presence. I'm glad that you are alive. I wish happiness and peace upon you. I hope that you can take this message and pass it along. 


There is no life that is worth more than another.